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Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You To Put This Egg In Your Vagina

Kermit Williams Jr. | 1/24/2017, 1:13 p.m. | Updated on 1/24/2017, 1:13 p.m.
Gwyneth Paltrow is trying to sell you an egg to insert in your vagina even as doctors warn women not ...

This is it, people: We’ve reached peak Goop-dom.

Gwyneth Paltrow is trying to sell you an egg to insert in your vagina even as doctors warn women not to try it.

Paltrow’s infamous lifestyle site recently interviewed “beauty guru/healer” Shiva Rose for an article titled “Better Sex: Jade Eggs for Your Yoni.” Rose, an actress who has a line of natural skincare products, described the supposed muscle benefits of inserting the egg-shaped jade stone into your body, saying the practice has roots in Chinese royalty and concubines.

In addition to claiming the egg balanced out her hormones, Rose said it also made her “whole cycle much, much more regular,” and she even feels people are “more attracted to you” when you’re carrying one.

Rose speaks of the jade egg with such fervor and passion, you might stop rolling your eyes long enough to actually consider paying $55-$66 for one of your own. She encourages users to “recharge it in the full moon just the way you would a crystal,” shares special care instructions (“wrap the egg in silk... and store it on an altar ― it should take a sacred place in your life”) and describes a pre-egg insertion ritual we couldn’t make up if we tried.

“I place it on a beautiful piece of fabric, light a candle, maybe even burn some sage,” she said. “For my ritual, I imagine pure light flowing between me and the egg.”

But despite the fact that you can’t buy one of the eggs right now ― they’re currently sold out on both Goop and Rose’s website ― you also just shouldn’t. Doctors were quick to say women really shouldn’t use jade eggs, just as they were quick to speak out when Paltrow bizarrely recommended vaginal steaming.

“There is no evidence at all to suggest that [jade eggs] may help, and it carries potential harms, including vaginal infection and trauma,” Dr. Maria Isabel Rodriguez, an assistant professor in the department of obstetrics and gynecology at Oregon Health & Science University, told The Huffington Post.

“I cannot think of a single reason why inserting a large, heavy stone object into the vagina would improve one’s sex life,” she added.

Rodriguez also said encouraging such a practice “perpetuates the idea that there is something inherently ‘wrong’ with women’s reproductive organs at baseline, and that they need to be ‘cleansed’ or ‘balanced.’”

Furthermore, Rodriguez reminded us how intuitive our bodies are on their own, without the help of a stone or celebrity.

“The vagina and the rest of our reproductive organs are actually quite smart at regulating themselves and need no interference from douches, jade eggs or Gwyneth Paltrow,” she said. “If something has changed with your vulva and vagina, and you are having symptoms, see your doctor, not the internet.”

Now that’s a cold, hard nugget of truth.